I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
