Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
