Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
