not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
he quoted the bible to break up with me
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
