i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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