I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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