I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
