Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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