i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
