is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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