saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
