He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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