Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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