"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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