i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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