what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize