goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
