Umm I'm too high to move.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
