I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
