what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize