Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
