i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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