So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
