After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize
