At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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