Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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