Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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