Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
