I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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