i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
