Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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