I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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