u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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