I wanna bring you to show and tell
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
