just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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