We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
