PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
