He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
