How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize