I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
