wat bout pragnant strippers??
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
