there's paper in my vomit.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
