pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Sext me about skeletons
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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