Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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