We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
