I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
