Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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