Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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