from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
