Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
