Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
