as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize