All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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