Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
