Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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