she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
