ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
