i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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