sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
