Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
